$5.99 Steak and Eggs?!? That’s got to be some good vittles.

The marmots are up early (by their standards anyway). They have a long drive ahead of them. They have planned their route and will be driving through Reno so they can have lunch from Whole Foods and maybe pick up a little See’s Candy for driving mojo (and self-pity).

As they get in the car, the marmots are understandably melancholy, but the beauty and sunshine around them assuages their feelings somewhat, at least for now. And there is just no replacing the comfort and routine of home. The marmots will be happy to see their zany cat Tippi, play in their lush backyard, cook in their own kitchen, shower in their own bathrooms, and sleep in their own bed.

On their way out of town, they drop off the keys with the property management company and Marmot 02 once again politely reports to yet another rep how ill-equipped their condo was for rental. Will the marmots be reimbursed in some way for the false advertising? They leave town still not knowing.

The marmots head north toward Nevada. Marmot 02 has never been through Nevada before so starts taking photos out the window while Marmot 01 drives.

Beautiful drive on 395 to Reno

It doesn’t look too different from The Dalles in Oregon. There are a couple of very strange bodies of water, such as a lake that appears black like tar, followed by a lake further down the road that appears yellow with iridescent pink highlights. The water bodies are considered legitimate lakes, at least by Google Maps, though it doesn’t appear that there is any lakeside property at them. They are probably as nasty as they look.

Weird, tar-like lakes on the road from Reno to Susanville

In Reno, the marmots encounter a bit of good luck. First at See’s, a celebration of Mary See’s birthday is underway. Spending $20 buys a $4 discount. The marmots pick up the usual half pound custom box of their faves that can only be procured from See’s (rum nougats, butterscotch squares, coconut bon-bons, blueberry truffles, and more), with a side of bridge mix.

Reno, nicer than W-01 remembers, and nicer than W-02 thought!

Then at Whole Foods, the luck continues. They find the Fork in the Road hot pepper chicken sausages that they fell in love with before their local Whole Foods stopped carrying it. Another sausage they like is on sale. They buy ten packs and take a couple of complimentary bags of ice to keep them cool on the way home.

At the WF deli, sandwich guru Denise, an apparently sun-loving older woman with fluffy dyed red hair, makes Marmot 01 two sandwiches because “this gluten free bread is just so tiny I had to make you an extra.” Meanwhile, Marmot 02 benefits from Denise’s generosity with a sandwich loaded with goodies and that probably weighs two pounds. “Here you go hon,” says Denise as she hands over the admirable edible. Marmot 02 takes a moment out of her day to write a nice comment card for Denise. Especially after experiencing Vacasa’s comedically nonchalant incompetence, Marmot 02 feels the call to reward Denise’s integrity and outstanding performance. She talks about how good the sandwich is the entire time she is eating the first half (which is more filling than many whole sandwiches). Marmot 01 even begins to roll her eyes a little.

Between Reno and Medford, the marmots are pretty quiet. Marmot 01 watches Sunday NFL football on her phone. The Seahawks are playing. It is like when the marmots first arrived in Mammoth Lakes the week before, but less celebratory and more sad.

When the marmots reach Lassen National Forest, the road becomes nearly empty. They are now in thick forest and the road is shade-dappled. Marmot 02 is driving this stretch and she sets the cruise control on. She wonders if she’s ever driven on such an unused road. After the marmots emerge from this meditative road of solitude, they see Mt Shasta again.

Mt Shasta in the Clouds (of smoke)

The marmots notice the sky has become thick and hazy. The sky is totally obscured by smoke from nearby forest fires. Appropriately enough, just as the marmots enter the smoke zone, they pass a large dragon sculpture at the side of the road. Maybe it smote this area and stands at the gate as a warning to those entering.

Dragon in the Clouds (of smoke)

Marmot 01 checks the air quality report online and the air for the area is rated “very unhealthy.” They roll up the windows. At this point they begin discussing how awful it will be to stay in Medford under such conditions. Marmot 02 can’t fathom being in the car for 14 hours in a single day, driving or as a passenger, but neither can she fathom staying in a town that is being plagued by toxic air if she doesn’t absolutely have to. As Marmot 01 wrestles with spotty cell reception interfering with her football streaming, Marmot 02 contemplates their options.

By the time they arrive in Medford, the marmots decide they have the mojo, even if just barely, to make it home. They stop in Grants Pass for gas and don’t stop again until Springfield, where it is suddenly raining—hard. They pull over for some Five Guys fries. The marmots are treated to an obscenely gigantic serving of fries. They order a regular to share but are given what appears more like five supers.

Predictably, Marmot 02 grossly overeats the fries. She has not had fries in probably six months and is feeling pretty sorry for herself. Marmot 01 drives the rest of the way home as Marmot 02 tries to find podcasts that aren’t heavy or depressing. It proves to be a difficult task but eventually they end up with an episode of “Stuff You Missed in History” about Copernicus.

The rain continues to pour down and Marmot 01 is having trouble seeing the road for the last couple of hours of the drive. Marmot 02 is trying to ignore her back pain and leg discomfort from all the sitting, and is belching from the excessive tater consumption.

When they finally, finally get home—to their own stuff, their own cat, their own yard—after 11pm, they find that their house-sitter buddy Critter has just washed their sheets and the dryer is running. The dishwasher has already been run and their cat Tippi (“the Tips”) is as fat as ever. Everything looks clean and orderly except… there is a grand reunion of picnic ants all over the kitchen. Marmot 01 spends over half an hour suppressing the invasion with strategically placed ant bait, which she carefully covers to protect the Tips from getting it on her paws. Marmot 02 rushes to put their stuff away and start laundry as the Tips leaps into, over, and through all the luggage and bags and boxes by the front door.

Tippi sports her Be-Not-Proud Bonnet!

The marmots unceremoniously shower and crash into bed. Vacation is exhausting, but they are home earlier than anticipated and will spend part of the next day perusing their photos and reflecting on their irreplaceable experiences.