Making breakfast in our Sacramento rental

The marmots begin their day with a walk around the neighborhood of their Sacramento rental, a little exercise is in order before getting back in the car for another long day’s drive. The neighborhood is nice, although it features some not-so-nice California prices (3 beds, 3 baths, $1.2 million). Many of the homes are custom; almost all are single-level ranch houses on double- or quadruple-lots. The marmots walk up to the windows of a newly constructed home and peer inside. Nice finishes but strange layout. ‘Why is the garage detached?’, Marmot 02 wonders. ‘Because it is sunny in California all of the time’, Marmot 01 reminds her. In the marmots’ native habitat of Portland, such a home might go for $400,000-$500,000 less. What’s so great about Sacramento, the marmots wonder…

Marmot 02 is dreading the upcoming drive, since she dislikes heights, gets carsick easily, and does not deal with altitude well. The marmots agree that Marmot 02 should drive to help alleviate some of these issues. Marmot 01 prepares a wonderful breakfast of eggs, cheese, onions, and sausage to help start the day off right. She is fun and relaxed and tells stories and jokes for nearly the whole drive. They are both very excited about their upcoming adventure, which takes the edge off the driving stress.

Deck view in Sacramento from perfectly located, Whole-Food’s-adjacent Air BnB

The drive is pretty unremarkable until the marmots enter Yosemite. The Yosemite entrance kiosk sports a whiteboard with a pen drawing of a yellow-bellied marmot. The marmots are immediately pleased and giddy at this, their first marmot sighting of 2017. Inside the ranger station, there are bins of stuffed pikas and marmots being sold to benefit the Yosemite Conservancy. The marmots want to “adopt” their stuffed doppelgangers, but agree that no adoption shall take place unless they cross seeing the “real deal” off of their bucket list. The marmots buy their park pass and ask the on-duty ranger where they might be able to see marmots or pikas. The ranger suggests Gaylor Lakes, which is on the eastern side of the park. She warns it is over 10k feet high and although the hike to Gaylor Lakes is only about a mile long, it is a mile of straight uphill trail. Marmot 02 gulps and wonders if her body will cooperate enough with the altitude to let her see wild marmots.

The whiteboard says it all Marmots AND Pikas oh my!

Now unleashed in the park, both marmots feel carsick and barfy and yet amazed at how lovely everything around them is. They make frequent stops to marvel at every little beautiful thing, including Olmstead Point, which provides a far-away view of Half Dome. Marmot 02 keeps saying “No way, no waaaayyyy! That’s so cool!” and Marmot 01 responds with “You sound like the contestants on the Bachelorette when they get on a gondola or something.” She has seen this and better… and soon Marmot 02 will get to see it too.

The view north from Olmstead Point

By the time the marmots get to Tioga Pass at 10k feet, Marmot 02 is feeling pretty rotten and wants to get to the condo in Mammoth as soon as possible, no matter how awesome the scenery. She eats the peppermint patties she bought at See’s, a tip she learned helps alleviate car sickness back when she was a kid and her wise momma would give her Junior Mints to keep her from barfing in the back seat. The peppermint patties help her get down the pass to a more reasonable, but still crazy altitude of just under 8k feet. The frequent appearances of the iconic “Speeding Kills Bears” roadside caution signs provide an opportune distraction. Marmot 01 wonders just how many bears she has killed with her years of speeding, it is a sad and disturbing thought.

Yosemite branding at its finest.

When the marmots finally get to the town of Mammoth Lakes, it is about 4pm. Marmot 02 is very pleased by the cuteness of the town. Almost nothing is scary, dirty, or in disrepair, so unlike the dilapidated mountainous areas of the Northwest to which Marmot 02 is accustomed. Marmot 01 did not overpromise—the town really is about as charming as can be, ensconced in towering mountains on all sides. The town is a little like Leavenworth, WA—very beer focused, but more So-Cal and less Germanic. It’s come a long way from its mining days when 14 sweaty dudes were housed in a one-room shack.

The marmots arrive at Mammoth’s Vacasa office to pick up their condo keys. When they throw open the car door, Marmot 01 smells the distinctive mountain air of Mammoth and feels happy and free. The tribulations of work and life dissipate and she is one with the trees (this may be overselling but it smells so damn good).

The view to the Bridges on Lake Mary Road

Next, the marmots ascend to their condo, zig-zagging up a tall bluff arriving at the complex. As they park, they turn around to find the mountain view in front of them. Walking up the stairs to their unit, they catch more of the view. Then crossing the threshold of the condo for the first time, they are immediately drawn to the view off the deck. From this hill high above the town is a gorgeous, tree-lined mountain view framed by the bluest of blue sky tapering to a pink horizon. The condo was advertised as having a “lake view” but the lake is many miles away and is just a dot that can be seen only from the corner of the deck. The view is outstanding, regardless of lacking a lake. Property management companies just can’t stop themselves from lying about every little thing (more on that later). It is here that Cookie and Gertie, the marmots’ small, plastic marmot alter-egos, first surface from the pocket of the camera bag for some fun macro photography on the deck. Other than the view, the condo is equipped with modern décor, a kitchen with a perfectly functional layout, new foam mattress, and brand new plush carpet. Everything appears very clean.

Cookie and Gertie are excited to stand in front of a cloud speckled Sherwin Canyon

After assessing their quarters and spending some time in awe of the view, Marmot 01 carries allllll the stuff from the car up the stairs to save Marmot 02 from further feelings of altitude-induced illness. Even she is huffing and puffing from the altitude. Once this feat is accomplished, the marmots drive to a nearby viewpoint at Minaret Vista, which is up above 9k feet again, and Marmot 02 is experiencing a very unpleasant vertigo, like she is going to fall over the lookout point. They get a few photos before booking it, but they are all crappy because nightfall is imminent.

Minaret Vista at sunset

After arriving back to the marmot ranch, they try to turn on the fireplace and Sunday night football. The remote control to the gas fireplace is not functioning, and the cable is spontaneously rebooting about every 5-10 minutes for about 30 seconds each time. In addition, there is no remote control to the cable box so the channel has to be changed on the box itself, to the great irritation of Marmot 01. The right side of the handle to the dishwasher comes off when tugged, the produce drawer to the fridge falls out when pulled, and 3 light bulbs are out. The marmots make a note to call the property management company in the morning about fixing these issues.

Sunday Night Football is on, even though the cable box keeps going out. How ‘Bout Dem Cow*************no signal.

Marmot 02 can’t wait to sleep, in hopes that she will adjust to the altitude after staying at nearly 8k feet for a night. She read this would probably happen but everyone’s body is different so she can only wait and see.